lesbianchrispine:

orarewedancy:

orarewedancy:

So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.

So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day

A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”

I live for this commentary fam.

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

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adorkableme525:

wolfflux:

glxdn:

snizzydoesit:

pussyprlnt:

queengreendown:

“We never kneeewwwww…”

Lmaooo I love these

Lmao I got soft ankles

Looool

Lmfao who raised y’all

This shit is fuckin hilarious. I watched it twice and DIED both times.

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the-lemon-is-in-play:

pussifoot:

punkkidmakingpizzas:

“You didn’t think you had to cook noodles”

This is how lesbian arguments usually play out

#‘you’re not in trouble you’re my wife’ just cleared my skin and watered my crops and murdered woody allen  

Crazy Yearbook Quotes From Students Back in 1911

mszombi:

sufganiyotdyke:

culturenlifestyle:

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These alarming and quirky yearbook quotes are found inside Spokane High’s Class of 19111, which include some pretty bizarre ambitions. Some of them include “ambitions” of murdering the faculty and marrying a dwarf. Take a look at their perplexing words below.

Keep reading

this is wonderful but i urge everybody to check out the original for more gems such as

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I’m Elizabeth Braun