– It’s still there. The only die you haven’t lost from your original set. It’s a d12. You’ve never rolled it once.
– The mini you’ve been using looks nothing like your character. You commission art of your character. The art looks exactly like you described. It looks almost exactly like the mini.
– The snack bowl arrives at your table. You reach over the DM screen to grab a chip. The bowl is empty. The session has yet to begin.
– A dice tower is constructed. The whole table goes silent. A d10 is balanced on a d4. You’re all silent. The tower sits, wobbling slightly. Silence. It crumbles for no apparent reason. You can finally breathe again.
– The DM draws a map. They’ve drawn a river on the side. It’s in red. A working blue pen is right beside them. No one mentions it again. No river is ever mentioned in game.
– A player’s character dies. Next session, they introduce their new character. Then themselves. You laugh. You know them already. Don’t you?
– You are telling someone about DnD. You want to tell them about funny stories with wacky hijinks. There are so many. You can’t remember a single one.
– This weeks session was cancelled. There is a disquiet at the time you should be there. Involuntarily, your hand shakes, then tosses a non existent object. Shake and toss. Shake. Toss. It is comforting.
– You roll for something important. The result is average. You look in the DM’s eyes pleadingly. They stare back for a moment, expressionless. They then say you pass. You feel relief, but a shiver runs down your spine.
– The DM hides behind their screen. They mutter softly. They look up, tell a player to roll for something, then look down, nodding. They don’t acknowledge the player’s result.
– You have many character concepts on hand. You love them all. You get a chance to play. You no longer have any character concepts you really want to try. At least, not until it’s too late.
– A dues ex machina occurs. Was the encounter unbalanced, or was it part of the plot? You aren’t sure. You’re the DM.
– Every time you look away, a die dissappears, and this one player’s cheeks get poofier. Eventually, their mouth seems like it’s about to burst. They do. Their mouth is empty. No one knows where the dice went.
– Someone tells an inside joke. It’s very funny. No one knows where it’s from.
i turned this amazing tweet into an animatic. botnik studios took a predictive keyboard to write a chapter of harry potter, and this is what it came up with.
DM (to our bard): The six cultists shove you to the ground, bow to the massive green dragon, and say, “Oh Great One, we have brought you this gold and this human sacrifice as tribute to your greatness. Please accept our offering.”
Rest of Party, looking on from a distance: Shit. He’s dead. He’s so dead. RIP Edward.
DM: The dragon thanks the cultists and asks if you have any last words.
Bard: I look up at the dragon and say, “I have brought you this gold and these six cultists as tribute to your greatness.”
Rest of Party: OH SHIT!
DM, who was clearly not expecting that: …………roll persuasion.
Bard: 17.
DM: The dragon says, “I like you. Duck.”
Bard: ….I duck?
DM: The dragon incinerates the cultists with his poison breath and leaves you alive, flying off with his treasure.
Best Christmas Present Ever?
The ability to do laundry in my own home!
My family teamed up and bought me this beautiful little laundry machine set. The washer hooks right up to the kitchen sink and the dryer just plugs into an outlet and is ready to go!
someone who is good at the bureaucracy please help me budget this. my division is dying
THE MAGISTRATE GROWLS “TAKE OFF TH AT ARMOR, ANATHEMA.” I COMPLY, REVEALING FULL LENGTH MOONSILVER TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE MAGISTRATE SCREAMS; DEFEATED
mean while, while you were “Exalting ”, i summoned 100 different demons in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a thaumaturge’s arms