((Art by the wonderful Steph! Follow her at pimp-mama, ohgodwry, or her art blog))

This is Marian Cypress or Cynis Mayumi, depending on the circumstance. Marian enjoys casual sex, martial arts, and embroidery. Marian is my current character in Exalted and recently she has begun to develop real relationships with both characters in her original universe (Exalted) as well as alternate universes (Cityverse). She is developing as a character and she has a few interesting opinions on the topic of love that I would like to go over. Her ideas and beliefs under the cut.

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First, it’s important to touch on the culture that Marian comes from. Marian is a Dynast, meaning she’s part of a pseudo-ruling family in Exalted lore. Dynasts are taught that love is unimportant. Love is a fine thought for children, but as adults it is something that one shouldn’t consider important. Instead, honor and duty are important. People are married for political reasons and are expected not to argue. They are also expected to have children with these engagements. However, mistresses (and their male equivalents) are acceptable as long as no children are produced, casual sex (before or after being married) isn’t a taboo, and homosexual acts are fairly common (if not encouraged since no children can come of these pairings).

Marian, of course, is different. Marian believes in love as a concept, and believes even more that it holds a special importance. Not wanting to marry for political reasons, she turns her back on her home and runs away (staging a kidnapping for financial reasons and to avoid a stigma). What is more interesting, however are her actual views on the subject.

There are many different types of love, and the heart may hold more than one. Some of these forms make sense to the masses: love of a sibling, love of ones family, close friendships, etc. However, it is the case of romantic love that makes things confusing.

People have different needs in regards to romantic encounters; to feel safe, or powerful, or confident. Different relationships will provide different things.

I have three romantic relationships, each of which offers something different and in each of them I feel differently about the relationship.

The first, chronologically, is with my servant. She is a balancing force in my life, one who keeps me on track. Our relationship lacks traditional permanence, but offers, in my opinion, a lot. She keeps me sane. She keeps me level. She is quiet, but the words she does choose to speak are always well thought.

The second, would be an old antagonist, a relationship formed out of necessity. It could be said that he taught me about love, about giving ones self to another. An understanding of sacrifices. He provides thought and self reflection. He encourages self discovery. Ours is a love of exploration and excitement.

The third, and so far final, makes me flustered. I am never at a loss for words, but around him I am speechless. With him I feel hope and joy, like my possibilities are endless. This love is not peaceful, nor adventurous. It is safety. It is strength and knowing. With him, I have the power to be myself because that is all he wants me to be.

Out loud, this all seems ill-communicated, but the idea is out there.

No really to be honest this all sounded much clearer in my head.